"Yeah well," he reaches out, taking one of his pencils and tapping at the dot indicating the time he had been captured. "I'm not the guy you remember. HYDRA got their claws on me when I was captured. They, ah, experimented on me."
His hand, steady as a rock when he's holding a weapon, shakes briefly as he marks another point and tries not to think about the train or the shock and grief on Steve's face as he fell. "They got me again here, but this time nobody sprang me. Everyone thought I was dead, even Steve." He grits his teeth and forces himself to continue.
"I broke under the torture. Held out as long as I could, but I broke." The newspaper clipping proclaiming the death of Captain America and his heroic sacrifice had been the tipping point. He remembers that much.
"For decades I wasn't the good guy Steve. I was a brainwashed assassin for HYDRA. I got more kills than I ever really want to think about." His chest is tight and the pencil snaps in his hand. "Not many people want to be around a person like that."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-03-25 06:51 pm (UTC)His hand, steady as a rock when he's holding a weapon, shakes briefly as he marks another point and tries not to think about the train or the shock and grief on Steve's face as he fell. "They got me again here, but this time nobody sprang me. Everyone thought I was dead, even Steve." He grits his teeth and forces himself to continue.
"I broke under the torture. Held out as long as I could, but I broke." The newspaper clipping proclaiming the death of Captain America and his heroic sacrifice had been the tipping point. He remembers that much.
"For decades I wasn't the good guy Steve. I was a brainwashed assassin for HYDRA. I got more kills than I ever really want to think about." His chest is tight and the pencil snaps in his hand. "Not many people want to be around a person like that."