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Mar. 24th, 2021 06:10 pmNot every universe in the far and wide cosmos is as lucky (however unlucky itself that seems) to encounter Thanos during a time where people live who can do something about it. Steve Rogers, a particular version of Steve Rogers who had only just suffered through his first night of basic training in New Jersey as part of the Army’s Project Rebirth and thus had not yet become Captain America, bent to untie his shoes and saw his hands begin to disintegrate. He doesn’t panic, panicking is for people who do not live like every breath is their last. Instead, he blinks in surprise as the barracks fill with shouting. He has time to contemplate two things. One, he wishes he’d done more with his life. And two, he hopes Bucky will do all right.
He’s still thinking about that last issue when he exhales his last in a universe where Captain America never existed and finishes it bent over in the ruins of the barracks, roof half open to the sky and walls a burnt and ashy gray.
It takes him an hour to get to the road and by then, his asthma is already getting the best of him. He blacks out for the second time ‘that day’ and wakes up staring at the ceiling of what is obviously a hospital.
It just doesn’t sound or smell like a hospital. Sure. People are running around and yelling, but it smells painfully clean, artificially so, and there are machines he’s never seen before connected by wires to his body. He does the thing people should never do and yanks them loose. The machines squawk strangely and frantically and Steve is almost out of bed when two large men in green pajamas force him back.
Nothing makes sense to him for days. People come to talk to him, to find out who he is and who his family is. Evidently Steve Rogers is a popular name, because they bring in more people to talk to him, to ask him questions about his life, but no one has any answers.
He explodes, as he’s wont to do when frustrated, demands answers, but nothing they say makes sense.
By then, the war is over. Not World War II, which has evidently been over for over half a century, but this new war. And Bucky Barnes had been told of his presence. Steve is in bed, arms crossed, looking dour and getting an infusion of something that honestly is helping him breathe better when Bucky bursts into his now private room. It’s been two months
He’s still thinking about that last issue when he exhales his last in a universe where Captain America never existed and finishes it bent over in the ruins of the barracks, roof half open to the sky and walls a burnt and ashy gray.
It takes him an hour to get to the road and by then, his asthma is already getting the best of him. He blacks out for the second time ‘that day’ and wakes up staring at the ceiling of what is obviously a hospital.
It just doesn’t sound or smell like a hospital. Sure. People are running around and yelling, but it smells painfully clean, artificially so, and there are machines he’s never seen before connected by wires to his body. He does the thing people should never do and yanks them loose. The machines squawk strangely and frantically and Steve is almost out of bed when two large men in green pajamas force him back.
Nothing makes sense to him for days. People come to talk to him, to find out who he is and who his family is. Evidently Steve Rogers is a popular name, because they bring in more people to talk to him, to ask him questions about his life, but no one has any answers.
He explodes, as he’s wont to do when frustrated, demands answers, but nothing they say makes sense.
By then, the war is over. Not World War II, which has evidently been over for over half a century, but this new war. And Bucky Barnes had been told of his presence. Steve is in bed, arms crossed, looking dour and getting an infusion of something that honestly is helping him breathe better when Bucky bursts into his now private room. It’s been two months
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Date: 2021-03-28 12:34 pm (UTC)The waitress interrupts again with their plates and Steve is distracted by the amount of food in front of him.
He’s not even sure how to tackle the burger.
“Uh— sorry. Wow this is huge. And sorry for not finding you the night before. I’m sure you were occupied with your lady friend. And that poor girl you got to go out with me was doubly relieved.”
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Date: 2021-03-28 02:04 pm (UTC)"I didn't want Becca to cry seeing me off."
"I had more fun at the Expo with you." Ever the nerd, Bucky wanted to see the latest in science and innovation before going off to fight and he wanted to share it with Steve.
"It was her loss if she didn't want to stay," he counters, picking up his first burger and taking a bite.
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Date: 2021-03-28 03:15 pm (UTC)He’s quick to get to his own burger, though he lifts the bun to inspect it first and leans down to give it a sniff. Bacon for anything other than breakfast? How crazy!
What’s probably crazier is the way he outright moans at the first bite. Food has never, never been this good before. Juice cascades down his chin, but he doesn’t put the double handed burger down. He just leans over the plate more, sheer joy in his eyes.
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Date: 2021-03-28 03:24 pm (UTC)He's also grateful that they're sitting down because that moan sends a shiver of heat down his spine. What he'd give to pull sounds like that from Steve.
He sets down his burger and deliberately takes off his gloves before using his thumb to clean off his chin.
Fuck he's in so deep with him.
"Good, huh?"
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Date: 2021-03-28 04:02 pm (UTC)“You shoulda led with these. Pizza is great and all, but— These are so good!” He’s not going to be able to eat the whole thing but he stuffs himself as much as possible, licking his fingers and trying to dry his chin off whenever he remembers that he’s a sight and a half. “I could die happy tonight.”
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Date: 2021-03-28 04:15 pm (UTC)And it's something special to share this new city with someone who understands barely scraping by and eating only what they could afford.
His second burger done and another beer emptied all Bucky can do is grin at him
"Pretty amazing isn't it?"
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Date: 2021-03-28 04:31 pm (UTC)It’s a new chance for the both of them, though there is a degree of selfishness that Steve can’t help but allow to linger.
He shifts his plate to Bucky for him to finish it up and has the rest of his third beer of the day. He feels almost like a lush, and the happy dizziness hits him when they go to leave.
“Woah, Bucky, world is having fun at Coney Island right now,” he mutters, holding onto the table.
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Date: 2021-03-28 04:45 pm (UTC)Sure they could walk home but Steve could probably do with the break. They can ride home and he let Steve nap on the couch with him.
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Date: 2021-03-28 05:05 pm (UTC)He doesn’t any a change of clothes. All he’d left the hospital with was, well, himself and a sketch book.
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Date: 2021-03-28 05:13 pm (UTC)He'll answer Sam's texts when he's done. And after a long moment of quiet Bucky will tell the rest of the remaining Avengers that he's found Steve. Not the Steve they remember, but one from before the war.
Even with two day shipping or better Steve will still need more clothes. He'll have to find something for him to borrow until then or hit the laundry machines.
Steve will wake up to hear Bucky talking quietly on the phone in the bedroom. Bruce had been the first to reach out and he deserved to hear the story. He had left the city when Tony died, mourning in his own way and the rest had honored his need for peace.
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Date: 2021-03-28 05:24 pm (UTC)An embarrassment creeps up his neck, but he lightly knocks on the door anyway. He doesn’t want to eavesdrop. And Bucky should know he’s standing out there.
“Sorry to interrupt, but do you have contact solution?”
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Date: 2021-03-28 05:33 pm (UTC)As Steve goes to take care of his eyes he hangs up with Bruce and trails after Steve.
"Hey. Better?"
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Date: 2021-03-28 05:51 pm (UTC)Whatever Bucky has for him, he’ll probably be able to pitch a tent in, but that’s besides the point.
He doesn’t bring up the phone call though. Not his business.
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Date: 2021-03-28 05:55 pm (UTC)He fetches them while Steve attends to his contacts.
"That was Bruce," he offers up because he knows Steve wouldn't press for details. "The guy with the curly hair in the pictures. He was.. he and Tony loved each other. Losing him was a hell of a blow."
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Date: 2021-03-28 06:26 pm (UTC)They loved each other.
“Like... love-love? That must be so hard. To lose someone like that. They’re both Avengers right? Like you and Steve?” He tugs the shirt down, happy it doesnt go all the way to his knees.
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Date: 2021-03-28 06:38 pm (UTC)He's also over six feet tall and green so that's something else he'll have to prepare Steve for.
"He's a good guy though. You'd like him."
Then his smile turns a bit sad, "But me and the other Steve were never like that. He didn't think of me that way."
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Date: 2021-03-28 06:48 pm (UTC)Steve still holds onto the bottom of Bucky’s shirt, tugging it further than it needs to go. Today has been too much already. His mind is too full. The world has changed too far.
“I uh... what, he didn’t want you to be an Avenger too?” He’s giving Bucky an out here because.... Because shit.
Shit.
Steve knows very well that no version of him could ever not feel that way for his best friend.
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Date: 2021-03-28 08:36 pm (UTC)"I think Steve, the other one, wanted me to have some peace in Wakanda. But he was also pretty straight so.." he shrugs. "But it's okay." It was okay. Bucky could love him from a distance. It was all he'd ever had.
"I'm just glad you're here." He shucks his own shirt and heads to the bedroom to find something to wear after his own shower.
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Date: 2021-03-28 09:26 pm (UTC)Why? Because he was brainwashed? Maybe because he didn’t want to see him with Shuri? Steve had known that he’d always lose Bucky to some girl but actually seeing him happy with one had to have hurt.
Steve understands that feeling.
He sets up some sheets found in a closet on the bed in Bucky’s unused room after he heads to the shower and is about to settle back on the sofa with his sketchbook when there’s a knock at the door.
“Bucky, it’s me,” comes a voice that Steve is familiar with. He has to stand on his toes to see out of the peephole but recognizes Sam. It should be all right to let him in. He’s all smiles and Sam smiles. “Bucky’s indisposed. I’m sure he’ll be happy you’re here.”
“Not the Bucky I know,” Sam replies, smirking. They talk about how Steve is settling in and once the water’s off, Bucky will know that his best with the younger version of his best friend has been breached.
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Date: 2021-03-28 09:32 pm (UTC)Maybe not literally but the principle still stands. He has to take a moment to claw down any instinct that demands Steve is his, that Sam can't have him, before he pulls on clothes and makes his way into the living room.
He won't consider his knives in the kitchen. At least not yet.
"Just make yourself at home why don't you?"
Dick.
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Date: 2021-03-28 09:57 pm (UTC)That was usually Steve’s way of being.
“Sam just came to check on me. I was telling him about the hamburgers and that you showed me pictures with you and long hair.”
“Took real good care of it too. He was real proud,” Sam teases and Steve’s eyes light up.
“You should have kept it!”
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Date: 2021-03-28 10:32 pm (UTC)"Yeah, well he was always the one with manners, not me."
Bucky rubs a hand along his hair. "I couldn't. It was too much a part of who I was. Not who I am." Never mind that it took months before he was able to let someone that close to his face with scissors.
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Date: 2021-03-28 10:51 pm (UTC)“Doe eyes?” Sam says, looking skeptical. “This guy? No way people found him charming.”
Steve might have carried on with the teasing but Bucky’s explanation about his hair makes Steve feel bad for bringing it up. He’s walking on eggshells part of their time together and it’s not Bucky’s fault. It’s his own inability to understand what went on.
In time, he hopes to change that.
“Sorry,” he says, genuinely. “It’s not a bad haircut. Mine must look so old fashioned.”
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Date: 2021-03-28 11:07 pm (UTC)"Don't worry about it, pal. I'm okay. It just took some time." Because that had been one of the first of many hurdles in his attempts to reclaim who he was.
As for Sam he narrows his eyes at him. "Yeah well not all of us can get by with a grin like you do."
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Date: 2021-03-28 11:11 pm (UTC)That’s why he’s here. To create some boundaries.
“Either of you eat dinner? Or was it just the burgers?”
“Just the burgers but I’m not sure I could eat again.” How odd, to have so many meals in a day.
“We could order in,” Sam says. “Chinese?”
Steve looks skeptical and then glances at the scowl on Bucky’s face. “I might just turn in. It’s been a weird, long day,” he says.
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