Snowblind Inbox

[bottledblond]

You have reached Steve Rogers. I am unable to answer you at this moment.
If you would be so kind, please leave a message after the tone with your name,
your number, and the best time to reach you. Thank you very much.


Uh, Tony? How long am I supposed to-- BEEP

Comments

[advanced]

"Didn't you listen to anything I just said?"

Bucky's voice rose in volume, sharp and annoyed. It was like Steve was wilfully being a fool, blind to the danger because he wanted to prove he trusted a man that shouldn't be trusted.

"I told you I killed two people, and you're standing there telling me you trust me. This is why I can't be near you, Steve, you're so eager to see the friend you lost that you're blind to the truth."

[bottledblond]

"I'm eager to help my friend. There's a big difference." He didn't want to talk semantics though. "I'm also eager to help people that aren't my friends." He didn't come running for you, Bucky, okay? He didn't frolick off to reconnect with an old bestie. "But I know for a fact that you can and have and will beat this. You are Bucky Barnes. You're the guy who spent most of my older childhood making sure I was warm and fed and not covered in bruises so-- So it's you and me. To the end of the line. Always will be."

[advanced]

That phrase again, that stupid phrase that digs into his skull and underneath his skin like nothing else does. Worse, now it's overlaid with the other times he's heard it in his life, even the times he's said it. He knows that they have this friendship, it's only a distrust of himself that stops him from going to Steve.

His expression is guilty and sorrowful all at once, he knows on some level that Steve is right. He passes a hand over his face.

"Username," the offering is abrupt and quiet. "My username on these things. It's 'username'."

[bottledblond]

Steve opened and closed his mouth before grinning. "That's real clever. I never would have thought to guess it. But how about this, pal. I'll respect your need for distance. You check in with me when you want to and only when you want to, all right?"

[advanced]

He nods, short and shallow, he can give that much at least. When he wants to might not be ever, though, and he can't help but wonder how long Steve will actually wait. He knows first hand just how relentless Steve can be in his pursuit.

"You should join the other Avengers, they're south of the school."

[bottledblond]

"Where are you going...?"

Because no. He wasn't going to take Bucky's place with them. He was fine. He'd scream it to the rafters if these people wanted him to!

"Buck-- Jay.. Stay with them. I'm exploring. It's not so bad." They can't both protect each other!

[advanced]

"I'm not staying with them whether or not you join them, so you might as well."

Bucky had realised his mistake about halfway through the evening when Natasha had been talking of the other Bucky, and when the little niggled voice at the back of his head refused to trust them not to lead him right to Steve in a misguided sense of doing the right thing.

He had been better out on his own, and he would just have to get better at controlling himself, that was all there was to it.

[bottledblond]

One sure fire way to get Bucky to disappear into the literal cold was to push him away by insisting he do what he didn't want to do. Steve tried to school his face, knowing he was still on video, but he couldn't quite hide the worry.

"Okay, all right, I'll try to meet up with everyone but-- If you need anything, even if it's just to talk, we're all still here for you." He didn't single himself out because he was sure that Bucky knew. Somewhere in there was the guy that was his hero all those years ago.

He'd lost Bucky a few days ago to the cold and ice...and now he was doing so again. What irony.

[advanced]

He didn't bother to respond.

But that he didn't refuse or claim he didn't need help was a silent agreement that he would remember they were all there if he needed them. Tony, Natasha, and even Clint had all said much the same thing. It's strange, having the support of all the Avengers even if he isn't ready to accept it yet.

So he just hangs up the line and hands the tablet back to Nat. Maybe he'll talk to Steve again soon, maybe not.