bottledblond | (no subject)

"New York City isn't exactly known for it's large, indigenous wolf population."

Steve isn't really paying attention to Tony Stark's yammering over a file he'd probably glanced at and tossed aside. He's too busy trying to get the screen to work properly so that a flick of his thumb across the surface won't send him ten pages ahead in the document he's trying to read or close out the pictures he's attempting to enhance. He understands the whole concept of renewable resources and he understands that the environment can't really sustain felling trees willy nilly, but he misses being handed folders with actually paper to spread out on the table in front of him.

Nastasha, thankfully, takes pity on him and the images of men and women with their throats pulled out appear on the large screen on the wall behind her. Steve isn't particularly pleased to see these things up close but he needs to know what they're actually planning her.

"Trained attack dogs?" Sam offers, but Steve, squinting, shakes his head.

"Germans used dogs during the war," he half muses. "That sort of mauling isn't what dogs can do. It's too--"

"Clean," Natasha offers and Steve nods. "This isn't the first time SHIELD has come across something like this." The photos on the screen change, become older and grainier. Not as clear. Steve can hear Tony muttering about glasses but ignores him again. "Same MO. Same lethal precision. Same wounds. They recovered fibers at the scene. Same fibers we have this time around too."

Steve's eyebrow arches. "You're going to say wolf?"

Natasha is grim as she nods. "Almost."

Bruce finally chimes in too. "Not just wolf," he says, adjusting nothing at all on his face as he's actually handed over his glasses to Stark, who is comically wearing them and looking pleased with himself. "Wolf and human DNA. I checked the old fibers too. It's unreal."

"So we have sixty years of attacks that tend to occur in three night cycles every month with a few years off in between groups," Tony says, leaning back, still in Bruce's glasses. "Sounds like a werewolf to me."

Steve snorts. "Now I've heard of a lot of crazy things," hell, he is one of those things, "but let's not jump to extremes. Do you think you can use the fibers from last night's attack to get a reading on where we might be able to find out who is--"

"Or what," Tony interrupts. "And yes. Ahead of you as always. We're ready to go for tonight."

There's not much else that needs to be discussed and so Steve nods, leaves the tablet behind to get some rest, and just after nightfall, heads to his spot on a roof not too far away from the Hudson River in Hells Kitchen to wait for something to happen. He expects nothing will, or that one of the other Avengers will be closer to the action when Tony's sensors go off.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

bottledblond

“Maybe we should stay away from the medical stuff if we can,” Steve says, smile perfectly lopsided. “You used to hate getting shots.” And it had been bad enough to pretend to jab that syringe into Bucky.

He can’t help but think that it might be a good idea to take Bucky to Banner’s containment unit, though. He isn’t sure he could properly stop him from hurting someone else if it meant hurting Bucky first. Steve’s loyalties, once earned, are unshakable.

“Tell you what, pal. We’ll get you some more of that soup and then you can take a shower and get changed and we’ll go see if Doctor Banner can take out any of his things from the containment unit, all right?” Maybe they should move more quickly, Steve doesn’t know how long they have before Bucky goes, for lack of a better word, feral. He still wants to treat him as human as possible. “Shower is through there. I’m going to see about clothes.”

Leaving Bucky is hard, harder this time than the last, so if he doesn’t do it now, he might not try again. Steve leaves the tray behind and hurries out of the room. He’ll find Tony and Bruce together, arguing over something or other that just goes over his head. “Gonna take you up on that offer for the containment unit, Tony,” he says, breaking into their conversation. “He might not be fully stable.”

“So you left him alone...? You know you can just call right?”

Steve frowns. “He’s all right. Oh, I need clothes too. For him. Doc, hate to ask but—“

“But Tony thinks he’s a teenager I know,” Bruce says, kindly. Tony just scoffs.

From:

endsinafight

His expression brightens a little at the mention of more soup, even if he doesn't want to think about the shower right now. He hates the ice cold hose downs he has to get after a mission, before they either lock him in a cell for the night or put him back into the tube. He'll focus on the fact that he's being rewarded for something even if he's not sure what he'd done to earn it. Maybe Steve's just nice.

He nods in agreement, but hesitates at the mention of the shower even as he rises to his feet reluctantly, setting the bowl on the tray and watches as Steve heads out of the room.

Bucky makes his way cautiously into the bathroom, pleasantly surprised to realize it's an actual shower and not just a room with a drain and a hose. It's nice. The towels are fluffy as he runs his fingers over the one he pulls from the closet, not sure why it even occurs to him to look there.

There's soap in the shower, too, and shampoo. He steps in and stares at the handle for a moment before turning it on, cringing when the water comes out ice cold. But his eyes widen as it quickly warms up to something a lot more comfortable and a faint noise escapes him as he moves to step up right under the spray of the shower. He lathers himself up and washes his skin and his hair, rinsing all the suds off and repeating the process once more. He'll be in trouble for using the warmer water, but he'll accept the punishment gladly because the hot water feels so good.

He wraps the towel around himself when he's through, hair dripping wet as he returns to the bedroom, kneeling down on the floor and waiting for Steve to come back.

From:

bottledblond

Steve doesn’t return alone, which makes the whole scene of Bucky in a towel, sopping wet and kneeling on the floor by the foot of the bed something a little akin to a porno. Tony even mutters as much, though Bruce gives him a cutting look that actually makes the older man shut his mouth. Steve would be impressed, but he’s too focused on Bucky.

There are clothes tucked under his arms, soft clothes, clothes that Bruce eluded to going to bed in though Steve finds them to be generic and maybe a little overly stretchy, like the work out clothes Bucky used to wear to box at the gym. They’re heathered grey and look too big for Banner but should fit Bucky just fine. He’s got a big bowl of soup in one hand in case Bucky is hungry still (of course he is), and the promise of more by way of a pot simmering on the stove in the kitchen.

“Bucky, this is Tony. I don’t know if you remember Howard Stark, but this is his son. And this is Doctor Banner. They’re both here to help you. How about you get dressed and have some more dinner?”

From:

endsinafight

He hadn't anticipated anyone else being there, but he should have. His shoulders tighten a little but he blanches involuntarily at the sight, immediately dropping his gaze to the floor, heart beating harder in his chest. He knows what it means when there's more than one handler during a punishment. It means it's going to be bad. Really bad.

His body trembles and he closes his eyes, trying to prepare himself for the inevitable pain. When it doesn't come immediately, he realizes they're waiting for him to confess first. Because that's what they do, to make sure he knows why he's being punished.

"I used hot water and not cold," he says, not daring to look up.

Bruce shoots a confused look at Steve and then at Tony.

From:

bottledblond

“Oh..Kay, Bucky, that’s fine,” Steve says with concern as he puts down the soup and tries to figure out how to comfort the man. “We’re not HYDRA. It’s not going to be like that. I’m Steve, you remember me, right?”

“We have to talk if your boyfriend is going to have flashbacks,” Tony says, insensitive like his brand has always been. Steve almost hates him for it. He doesn’t understand what genuine hardship is, he never has, and he doesn’t have the right sort of compassion to deal with someone obviously going through PTSD.

Steve thinks he should have gotten Sam instead as he crouches down to offer Bucky the clothing he’s got.

“Never gonna hurt you, you know that. I couldn’t.”

From:

endsinafight

He holds his breath when he's addressed as Bucky and not Asset or worse yet, Soldier. No one calls him Bucky. He hasn't been Bucky in a long, long time. He blinks a couple of times when the familiar figure is suddenly crouched in front of him and it takes him a few more seconds to remember that he's not at the HYDRA base now. He's somewhere else. And Steve -- Steve is there, promising not to hurt him.

Steve.

His shoulders drop once more, relaxing from their tense posture as he looks back at him. "I got mixed up," he admits quietly.

Bruce looks from Bucky to Steve, troubled expression on his face. "Let's give 'em a minute," he murmurs to Tony, moving toward the door slowly.

From:

bottledblond

“You can just say you want to get popcorn,” Tony says in response but he lets Bruce take his elbow and yank him out of the room. He’s not as terrible a person as he comes off, but he likes playing the jerk. It usually keeps people away. Banner has never seemed to get the memo, though his own personal issues keep him out of Tony’s life for months at a time.

They’re out in the hallway, not getting the popcorn Tony teased about, as Steve stupidly forgets himself and brushes his knuckles back across Bucky’s chin towards his ear and then lays his hand on the back of his neck.

He hasn’t done that in a long time, but his muscles remember the intimate touch and he can’t help himself. “It’s okay to be confused. I’m here to help you out.”

From:

endsinafight

A quiet noise escapes him when Steve's knuckles brush over his skin and his hand lands at the back of his neck, and a shiver makes its way through him. His eyes are glassy when he meets Steve's gaze. The touch doesn't hurt, though there's little doubt that it could, if Steve decides to squeeze his hand around his throat. But it doesn't happen.

"Are you really here?" He knows he shouldn't, but he reaches up with his flesh hand and rests it at the back of Steve's neck in an echo of movement. Trying to make sure this is happening, that he's not imagining. That this is really Steve and not someone pretending to be Steve to make him more compliant to their orders. But he hasn't issued any orders. He gave him soup and let him shower and didn't punish him for using warm water.

"Is this real?"

From:

bottledblond

The softest of breaths release from between Steve’s momentarily parted lips and he nods, moving a little closer until his forehead can rest on Bucky’s. His eyes close and the grief and joy he feels for having Bucky back in his life cancel each other out, but still cause his eyelashes to wet. His nod is slight, emotion working in his jaw like sticky, sweet candy.

“Yeah Buck. I’m here. This is real. You’re real... you’re alive. Everything can be okay again.” That’s probably not a true statement but Steve will cling to it even so, fingertips lightly massaging the back of Bucky’s neck.

It’s been a long time since he’s felt Bucky in his arms, but as it’s always been between them, the whole of it is dangerous. There’s no worry about chemical castration or criminal charges now, but the roadblocks are still there in heaps and measures.

From:

endsinafight

Bucky's eyes drift shut when Steve's forehead leans against his and he lets out a shuddering breath before shifting closer and burying his face against Steve's neck, arms winding around his torso. His skin is warm to the touch, faint hint of cologne and salt lingering there. He can feel Steve's heartbeat against his chest and he focuses, listening to the sound, strong and steady.

That part feels new, different. Like maybe it hadn't always been so strong even if he has no idea what makes him think that.

His mind clings to the words that this is real, that Steve is there, and that this isn't some kind of dream or hallucination. How could it be, anyway, when HYDRA never allows him to sleep outside of cryo? Weapons don't dream.

"What happens now?" He doesn't pull away, just lets his arms remain wrapped around Steve.

From:

bottledblond

Wet hair soaks into his neck and warm moisture trickles into the collar of the shirt he wears under his uniform but Steve doesn’t care. Bucky is warmer to hold onto than he remembers and it’s soothing to wrap his arms around him fully, despite a small inkling in the back of his head that Bucky is much less comfortable with all of the rigid leather and ballistic resistant armor in his uniform.

It just would not be appropriate to strip down with him, and not just because there are men waiting on them.

Steve gently traces small, precise patterns on Bucky’s back, just as he used to do, sketching geometric shapes without ink against his skin. The question doesn’t catch him off guard. He can understand Bucky’s worry. The unknown is always frightening. Even for too brave idiots like him.

“You’ll get dressed. You’ll have as much to eat as you want. And then you’ll get some sleep while we try to get you better,” he responds evenly.

From:

endsinafight

Bucky has such a limited capacity of understanding of what comfortable is these days he barely notices the rigid leather and armor of Steve's Captain America uniform. What he does know is that for the first time that he can remember, he feels safe. Steve's fingers moving across his skin gives him a shivery pleasant feeling, and the fact that he doesn't get in trouble for asking a question without permission is startling.

"Okay," he murmurs, not pulling away just yet. He assumes by sleep that Steve means they've got a cryo tube waiting for him. He doesn't like the sensation of freezing over or that of unthawing, but at least he knows what to expect. He knows that once he's frozen there's an almost blissful darkness that overtakes him.

From:

bottledblond

They can’t just stay here all night, not with the curious out in the hall waiting for them. Tony is more than likely the sort do pop in willy nilly to see what’s going on, and Steve can do without the teasing.

After Bucky is up and dressed, Steve actually finds himself surprised that the hallway is empty. He frowns and asks JARVIS where Tony is, only to be told that he and Banner are moving some things out of the containment unit.

It’s just one floor up, and he and Bucky take the stairs and pass the kitchen along the way. As promised, there’s more soup for him and Steve has a bowl too, not because he’s hungry for it, but because he wants to do more than just stare at Bucky whole he eats.

After that, it’s off to find the scientists. Bucky won’t recognize the containment unit for what it is. The walls are made of wood paneled vibranium. There’s a bed and a desk with a chair and a small commode with a privacy curtain around it. It’s not extravagant but Tony has turned what could have been an unpleasant glass of metal box into something comfortable for his friend to use when he felt like he needed the extra degree of protection.

Tony isn’t really helping Bruce move out some things as Bucky and Steve enter the hallway, he’s just watching, munching on some sort of freeze dried fruit. “Kiss and make up?”

Tony is maddening but Steve doesn’t let himself be drawn in.

From:

endsinafight

Bucky's both wary and fascinated by JARVIS -- who's apparently some sort of computer or robot that understands full conversations. It's nothing that he's familiar with (at least not that he can remember). He follows Steve closely, though, gaze darting around the corridors even as he eats another bowl of soup on the way to the containment unit.

He stops right behind Steve as they approach the other two men, a thrum of anxiety pulsing through his veins. There's something vaguely familiar about the one eating some kind of brightly colored food in the hallway, but he has no idea what it is. His tone when he speaks is upbeat and light but a glance at Steve tells him he's not amused by whatever the other meant by kiss and make up.

His gaze shifts to the other man who'd come up to Steve's apartment, who's currently lugging some kind of stereo equipment out of another room.

"You know, a little help would've been nice," Bruce grumbles, glancing meaningfully at Tony.

Wordlessly, Bucky sets the bowl of soup on the floor out of the way and moves closer, holding his arms out.

From:

bottledblond

There’s a tired, exasperated sigh that comes from Bruce as he looks from Tony to Bucky. “See that? He’s you’re guest and he’s willing to help out.”

Steve, however, is pretty sure that willing isn’t the word. Bucky used to be the first guy into action with an arm or a shoulder to help out, but this seems more programmed. The blond finds himself exhaling too, through his nose, and stepping up with his arms out too.

Maybe Bucky will have memories of their childhood, the two of them always trying to find odd jobs to do so that they could get enough money, during the good times, for candy or Coney Island’s amusements.

He’s not so sure.

Tony, though, doesn’t move. “I’m really better at being a foreman,” he lies, though he’ll let everyone be annoyed about it a moment more before tucking away his snack and following suit with Steve to lift his arms up. “For being kind of a transient hermit, Banner, you’ve got a lot of stuff.”

From:

endsinafight

Bucky grips onto the heavy equipment with ease when Bruce hands it over to him, watching the other three disappear into the little room and return carrying a few other items. He follows them down the corridor where they unload the things onto a large table in an otherwise empty room. He carefully sets the stereo down, too, and looks at the two other men with only the barest hint of wariness in his eyes. He doesn't know them at all, but Steve does.

Steve is safe, and for now, at least, he thinks that if he doesn't upset anyone, he might not be punished by the other two men, either. At least not as long as Steve is around. He hadn't been mad about Bucky using hot water instead of cold. He remembers one of the handlers telling him he wasn't worth wasting warm water, that he was less than a dog, and that was why they hosed him down in ice water.

He follows them wordlessly back toward the room they'd removed things from.

"So this one's all yours for the night," Bruce tells Bucky with a small smile, motioning to it.

Oh. Containment cell. He shifts his gaze to Steve momentarily, feeling a little anxious about what's going to happen once Steve leaves for the night. He steels his nerves and moves toward the door, stepping just inside and pausing, eyebrows furrowing.

"I don't understand. There's no tube," he says, staring blankly at the bed that there's instead.

From:

bottledblond

The two shorter men exchange glances but Steve just smiles. “You’re not with HYDRA,” he says gently. He’ll remind Bucky of this as many times as it takes to stick. “You’re James Barnes. You’re a person. And you’re not going to be... contained the same way.”

“But we are locking you in,” Tony says because it’s the truth and Steve really needs to stop coddling someone who evidently tears the throats it of people at HYDRA’s request.

Steve grits his teeth to keep from saying something he’ll regret. Tony’s right anyway. “We are going to lock you in but you’ll be safe in there and we’ll be safe too in case you do end up...” He doesn’t want to say it out loud so he won’t.

Tony and Bruce share a wordless conversation of raised eyebrows and shrugs.

From:

endsinafight

He knows without reservation that Steve isn't part of HYDRA, since he'd been sent by HYDRA to kidnap him and bring him to them. They're going to be so angry with him when they find him again. Mission failure is always unacceptable, but sometimes it feels like they intentionally set him up for it. He doesn't know why, but it's something he feels certain about.

The name James Barnes, though, sounds so strange to him. A stranger's name. He wants to ask Steve why he calls him Bucky if his name is James. Bucky feels right even if HYDRA never addresses him by either name.

He shifts his gaze quickly to Tony and then back to Steve, in time to see Steve's jaw tense a little. "In case I end up malfunctioning or exhibiting erratic behavior," he finishes mildly. He isn't surprised. He's not even upset. He knows he's damaged because if he wasn't, he wouldn't have remembered Steve to begin with. He steps more fully into the room, pressing his lips together.

"Will I see you again?" The question's directed solely at Steve and his stomach twists at the thought of not seeing the other man again.

From:

bottledblond

“As cute as this is, I’m going before I vomit,” Tony announces, before Steve can even answer, leaving the Soldier and the Doctor behind. Steve’s very happy to ignore him this time, and he ends up stepping into the room with Bucky.

Why not? He can handle himself.

Bruce, though, isn’t really sure that he likes the idea. “You’ll be locked in, Captain,” he says in his mousy, overly mild mannered way, with just a ton of the exhaustion Tony Stark causes.

“Have JARVIS set the lock to my voice,” Steve says mildly before he shuts the door. He and Bucky are, thankfully, alone, though he doesn’t doubt that there’s monitoring equipment all over the place. “You should finish that soup, pal. Getting cold.”

From:

endsinafight

Bucky blinks a couple of times, mildly surprised when Steve steps into the containment cell with him instead of just locking him inside the way he'd assumed he would. No one from HYDRA would have dared to lock themselves in a room with him alone. But it doesn't stop the small smile that spreads across his face, almost involuntarily.

"Are you still hungry?" he asks as he moves to pick up his bowl of soup once more. If Steve says he is, he'll share it without reservation, like it was something he normally did. If not, he'll sit down on the floor and start eating once more, enjoying the warmth of the broth and marveling how strange it is to eat like this and not be fed through a tube.

From:

bottledblond

“That’s all you,” Steve promises, curiously watching Bucky sitting in the floor. There’s a table and some chairs, a bed, and even an arm chair in Banner’s containment room, but Bucky still is choosing the floor. Steve doesn’t mind joining him, but he can’t keep his mouth shut about it. “You don’t need to ask permission. For anything. Not anymore.”

Watching the way Bucky acts, the flashes of the man shifting back and forth from animal to weapon to the shadow of the man he had been, is certainly painful, and Steve aims to stop it, if not for Bucky, than himself.

“You have your life back, Buck.”

From:

endsinafight

He hums quietly at that, stirring the soup and scooping a spoonful of it up to his mouth, pausing at the rest of what Steve says, about not having to ask for permission for anything anymore. He falls silent, staring down at the soup for a long moment. He exhales, expression growing serious.

"They'll come for me," he tells Steve quietly, looking back up at him. "When they realize you're not really HYDRA. They'll come for you, too." It's just a matter of time. And maybe it won't be so bad, if they're together. Except the thought of them hurting Steve, wiping out his mind, freezing him on ice, making him kill for them -- it all makes him feel sick to his stomach.

"If we can't get away from them, you have to kill me." There's no hint of kidding in his voice.

From:

bottledblond

“I’m giving it two days,” Steve says, a bit of humor to the serious subject matter. His smile is mostly for show. “They were always coming for me. People have since I went out to look for you during the war.” He doesn’t for a second believe that punching Hitler during his USO shows made him a target, after all. Single handedly busting open a HYDRA testing facility and war camp, though, is enough to ruffle feathers. “I’m not scared of HYDRA. We fought them before and we will again. You’re safe here.”

They both are. They have the world’s mightiest heroes at their disposal (all save for Thor, though Steve doesn’t expect to see him again in his lifetime, to be honest.

“It’s not going to come down to it. No one needs to die.” He resists the urge to put his hand on Bucky’s knee. Tony might be watching. And Steve doesn’t want to get into everything with the older man. “Listen, it’s not your job to worry about that. Just to keep getting better.”

From:

endsinafight

Bucky studies him, cocks his head to the side. "You looked for me during the war?" He doesn't remember that. He doesn't remember much about the war, other than he was there and it was a long, long time ago. He remembers flashes of bright blue lights and a feeling of shock, but after that there's nothing.

He definitely doesn't remember being there with Steve, nor does he remember ever fighting HYDRA with him. He wonders if that's how they'd found him. If that's why they'd chosen him to be their weapon, so eventually they could try to use him against Steve.

He looks at Steve solemnly, wanting to believe that. But he knows HYDRA far too well to think it'll be that easy or simple to be free of them for good. For Steve to be free of them for good. "You'll need my help." It isn't a question. No one knows HYDRA from the inside out the way Bucky does.

From:

bottledblond

"Well you went missing, so yeah, someone had to come looking for you," Steve plays off, like it hadn't been a big deal, like he hadn't pushed his more or less fictitious title to the limit and gone against the direct orders of a commanding officer. "You never were really good at staying put. I had to fake my way into the Army just to follow you over to Europe."

That's not true at all. Steve had been trying to sign up for the war since the recruiters came to every corner and hospital in the Five Boroughs.

He did, however, become that much more convicted of the cause once Bucky shipped out, though. He'd never been alone, not really, not since Bucky came into his life.

"And yeah, I'm going to need your help but not for awhile. You need to recover, get more of your memory back...and maybe figure out how to control the wild hair growth."