(no subject)

[bottledblond]

"New York City isn't exactly known for it's large, indigenous wolf population."

Steve isn't really paying attention to Tony Stark's yammering over a file he'd probably glanced at and tossed aside. He's too busy trying to get the screen to work properly so that a flick of his thumb across the surface won't send him ten pages ahead in the document he's trying to read or close out the pictures he's attempting to enhance. He understands the whole concept of renewable resources and he understands that the environment can't really sustain felling trees willy nilly, but he misses being handed folders with actually paper to spread out on the table in front of him.

Nastasha, thankfully, takes pity on him and the images of men and women with their throats pulled out appear on the large screen on the wall behind her. Steve isn't particularly pleased to see these things up close but he needs to know what they're actually planning her.

"Trained attack dogs?" Sam offers, but Steve, squinting, shakes his head.

"Germans used dogs during the war," he half muses. "That sort of mauling isn't what dogs can do. It's too--"

"Clean," Natasha offers and Steve nods. "This isn't the first time SHIELD has come across something like this." The photos on the screen change, become older and grainier. Not as clear. Steve can hear Tony muttering about glasses but ignores him again. "Same MO. Same lethal precision. Same wounds. They recovered fibers at the scene. Same fibers we have this time around too."

Steve's eyebrow arches. "You're going to say wolf?"

Natasha is grim as she nods. "Almost."

Bruce finally chimes in too. "Not just wolf," he says, adjusting nothing at all on his face as he's actually handed over his glasses to Stark, who is comically wearing them and looking pleased with himself. "Wolf and human DNA. I checked the old fibers too. It's unreal."

"So we have sixty years of attacks that tend to occur in three night cycles every month with a few years off in between groups," Tony says, leaning back, still in Bruce's glasses. "Sounds like a werewolf to me."

Steve snorts. "Now I've heard of a lot of crazy things," hell, he is one of those things, "but let's not jump to extremes. Do you think you can use the fibers from last night's attack to get a reading on where we might be able to find out who is--"

"Or what," Tony interrupts. "And yes. Ahead of you as always. We're ready to go for tonight."

There's not much else that needs to be discussed and so Steve nods, leaves the tablet behind to get some rest, and just after nightfall, heads to his spot on a roof not too far away from the Hudson River in Hells Kitchen to wait for something to happen. He expects nothing will, or that one of the other Avengers will be closer to the action when Tony's sensors go off.

Comments

[red_ledgered]

Natasha remains on the elevator, gaze still firmly locked on Steve's profile. Clint is beside her, bow at the ready in case the man slung over Cap's shoulder was to suddenly wake up and start causing trouble.

"You don't know who he is, do you?" She arches an eyebrow and shifts so that she can see Tony but also still keep an eye on the not-so-unconscious individual. "The man who attacked Steve is a blast from his past. James Buchanan Barnes."

"Wait, what?" Clint looks at her with confusion. "From back in --"

"Yes," she responds, cutting him off.

[bottledblond]

The little motion of his thumb on the back of Bucky’s leg stops. Steve had already known that Natasha would be aware of who the man is to him but after the revelation of Rumlow’s membership in HYDRA, Steve is trying not to be paranoid. He’s always had a good nose sniffing out people he could trust, but Brock has ruined part of that confidence. There’s no one better at concealing herself and her attentions than Natasha Romanoff, too, and Steve is painfully aware that all of this could be futile.

Then again, she had known that Steve hadn’t sedated Bucky. She could have done something to give that away if she was on the other side.

Steve presses the flat of his hand against Bucky’s thigh and turns towards the redhead. He should probably put his friend down, but there’s a comfort having physical contact with him and Steve doesn’t want to give that up. Not yet. He searches her face, almost afraid of seeing some darkness there, but Natasha, as always, is a closed book to him.

“Putting you down now, Buck,” Steve says, crouching slightly to do it, and, without looking up, can’t help himself but ask: “anyone else want to come clean about being HYDRA?”

[endsinafight]

The tension in the elevator is thick and uncomfortable, but the feel of Steve's hand against his thigh helps soothe his own nerves a little. It's unusual, to be touched in a way that isn't intended to cause pain or humiliation. But Steve hadn't injected him with the sedatives, and he hadn't let Rumlow and the STRIKE team take him back, just like he said he wouldn't. He listens to the pointed conversation going on around him, and when Steve sets him down on his feet, he keeps absolutely still, though his gaze darts around, landing first on Black Widow and then Hawkeye, and then on Iron Man.

He doesn't think that any of them are HYDRA. He hasn't seen them before, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything, either. What he does know is that in his debriefing, his mission parameters were to retrieve Steve, and not to kill Iron Man. The others had all been listed as expendable. It's not a guarantee that they aren't, but he finds himself feeling skeptical that any of them are secret HYDRA operatives.

"HYDRA?" Clint echoes. "Wasn't that wiped out like seventy years ago?" He looks more than a little confused.

Even Natasha looks surprised.

[bottledblond]

For Natasha to even hint at surprise puddles relief in Steve’s belly. He resists the urge to hug her, glad to have his oldest friend in this century be as genuine as she can be. There’s already quite enough in Steve’s mind happening already and though he is capable of dealing with so much, he’s rather just focus his energy on one person.

Steve lifts his eyes towards his teammates and then up at the ceiling. Tony generally has a better time of reading him than the other way around and so he smirks, tilting his head as if incredulous at the idea that Steve thinks his penthouse is bugged. “Really?”

Good enough. Steve hasn’t always liked Tony and he’s sure Tony still doesn’t like him, but the man is genuine. “Buck says that HYDRA did something to him. Kept him alive... more than that. And Brock Rumlow—. He’s one of them. He almost started to vibrate when I said ‘hail, HYDRA’ to him.”

[endsinafight]

"Did something like make his eyes glow?" Sam questions, looking at Steve and arching his eyebrows. "For what purpose?"

Natasha presses her lips together and turns her gaze to study Bucky intently. He drops his gaze instantly and remains silent, still. All but pressed up against Steve's side, as though it might shield him from the scrutiny. "If Rumlow is HYDRA, the entire STRIKE team is compromised." She shifts her gaze to Steve, knowing he's likely already gone over the rest of the scenario in his head. "And so is SHIELD." None of them were naive enough to think it started and stopped with one person infiltrating the agency.

Clint looks between them warily. "Okay, so if SHIELD is really HYDRA, then that means -- what, exactly? Aside from knowing everything about all of us?"

[bottledblond]

“That means we have work to do,” Steve says without hesitation, standing up straighter and taller as if he can protect Bucky by simply being more imposing. “But not tonight. They’ll be watching us.”

“Already are,” Tony says with frivolous nonchalance, shrugging as he leaves the little circle, carefully not bumping into anyone or letting anyone touch him. It’s something Steve’s noticed before, something that has always given him pause, but he can’t devote energy to Tony Stark and his quirks tonight. “I’m going to fix that. Give them something interesting to listen to.”

Bruce trots off behind him, calling his name and wringing his hands. Steve doesn’t understand that relationship either but again, other things on his mind.

Steve turns slightly towards Bucky, glancing at him. “You want to get cleaned up? I’ve got a room two floors down.” There’s nothing in it, just a bed, but Steve has never stayed here. He’d never intended to, not even when the Tower is finished.

Now, there’s no safer place to be.

“Woah, Steve,” Sam says, gentle, hands out. “Maybe we should talk first.”

[endsinafight]

Natasha couldn't disagree with that suggestion. Her gaze is locked firmly on Bucky, eyeing him with wariness. "Sam's right. I think we need to discuss what all this means." Because if she isn't mistaken, his best friend has been a HYDRA operative for the last seventy years. Defecting or not, he'd have answers to a hell of a lot of questions. And she doubted that his abnormalities stopped at glowing eyes.

Clint reaches out and rests a hand on Natasha's shoulder. "It's been a long night. I think Cap's right -- let's break for now and get back to work and figure this all out in the morning," he suggests, nodding at Steve.

Bucky doesn't look at either of them, simply keeps his eyes on the floor. "Where's the containment unit?"

[bottledblond]

Steve owes Barton a drink. He makes a mental note of that before Bucky speaks up, voice not the same as the one that has more or less faded from his memory. It’s the one thing that his super powered body can’t manage to do. His memory is sharp but it’s just as fallible as anyone’s and between the crash and the trauma of waking up from the ice, it’s done certain things to his mind that have let so much of his memories fade into that sepia watercolor tone that movies seem to enjoy.

“No containment cell for you tonight, pal,” Steve says gently before his eyes settle on Sam. The guy looks torn and Steve can’t blame him for that. “We’ll talk. First thing. Just not tonight.”

There’s a hesitation to his friend that Steve understands. But it’s not Sam’s place to step in here. Steve wouldn’t appreciate it, and Sam had been doing a great job keeping the boundaries up between them.

[endsinafight]

Clint tugs Natasha out of the elevator and she allows it, albeit reluctantly. She glances back at him, sharp gaze clearly concerned. "If you need us, you know where to find us."

"See you in the morning, Cap," Clint tells him, shifting his gaze momentarily to Bucky and then back to Steve, giving him another slight nod.

Bucky's shoulders drop a little as the others agree to leave them until the morning, at least. He's not sure that's the best plan either, but his head hurts and these things aren't for him to decide anyway.

The elevator doors slide shut, leaving Steve and Bucky alone together.

[bottledblond]

For the moment, Steve just lets the elevator stay there. He’s sure the others will be talking, probably attempting to pull Tony into the discussion too, but he can’t be bothered by it. They all know well enough by now that Steve doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to, and nothing, not even a group consensus, will change that.

He leans back against the smooth brass elevator rail and lifts cornflower blue eyes towards Bucky as everything just drains from him and puddles in his feet. He can feel emotion and anger and fear all slip through his veins, leaving him exhausted and stuck on a low level burn.

“Why did you wait so long? They pulled me out of the water two years ago, Buck.”

[endsinafight]

He makes no move, simply lets his arms hang limply at his sides, waiting for Steve to say or do something. He watches Steve lean against the railing and then lift his gaze to look at him. He has no idea what Steve's talking about, and his eyebrows furrow a tiny bit, line creasing in the middle of his forehead.

More than that, Steve seems upset. With him? With his other friends? With Rumlow? He doesn't know and he isn't sure it even matters. He knows what happens when people are upset or angry.

"Pulled you out of the water?" he echoes. Why had he been in the water? Who had pulled him out?

[bottledblond]

That Bucky doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about doesn’t help in any way that Steve might have hoped it to. Ever since the war, ever since Bucky left him, they’ve been a few steps out of sync. Their paths have diverged and yet they keep finding one another again. Steve doesn’t believe in fate, not when Free Will is one of His top selling points, but there’s some divine plan in play here with Bucky and Steve can’t deny it, or let it overcome him either.

“When you— When I lost you, I went after HYDRA. I tried to get back from the mission but the only way I could keep them from winning was crashing my plane into the ocean. SHIELD revived me two years ago. I was under the ice for seventy years, but... I guess I skipped right over retirement.”

He takes the time to finally pull off his gloves, shoving them under one arm before he thumbs the button on the elevator to the floor of apartments Tony set up for visitors.

“I’ve been working in DC mostly for the last few years. Tried to stay in Brooklyn but they more or less priced me out.”

[endsinafight]

Missions with HYDRA have rarely ever required knowledge of dates or times. He couldn't tell you what year it is now, but he knows that time has passed -- mostly from the way that people dress. He has vague memories of different styles of clothes, but also each time he's been unthawed, the few handlers he can recall over the years have aged significantly. He remembers Pierce when he'd been much younger than he is now, young and handsome, blond hair and blue eyes. Not unlike Steve.

But seventy years?

Steve had crashed a plane into the ocean and been on ice for seventy years?

He feels like he should be shocked. Horrified, even. But he feels nothing but numbness settle into his bones at the information. His gaze follows Steve's every move, watched him strip the gloves off and hit a button to move the elevator.

"I didn't know."

[bottledblond]

That explains a great deal. Steve isn’t completely satisfied, who could ever be after learning someone so close to you has been under the spell (perhaps literally) of Nazi scientists? There had been talk of what HYDRA had been doing during the war, of human experimentation and the Nazi belief in dark magic and alien contact. From what Steve had learned of the world in the last few years, aliens do exist and magic, probably, does exist, or at least science has doubled for magic along the way. He’s stopped trying to understand it and mostly just accepts what he sees. It’s less damaging that way.

The elevator chimes and the door opens to reveal a brightly lit hallway likely illuminated by JARVIS while the elevator was descending. There’s nothing on the walls or the floors, no furniture at all save for a giant mirrored Avengers ‘A’ directly across from the elevator. After Stark Tower had been destroyed and Tony’s idea to turn this place into more than just his home and an R&D space for tech companies, he’s obviously out at least a little thought in keeping the Boy Band he’d struggled to avoid being part of closer than before.

Not that Steve’s ever stayed here. He and Sam have their place in the Capitol and though New York tends to need the most protection these days, neither have ever wanted to stay for too long.

Steve leads the way down another hall and stands by a door with a paper version of his shield taped it it. He almost laughs. Tony is such a child.

“What did they do to you, Buck? If you want to talk. You don’t have to. Not to me. Maybe you should talk to Doctor Banner though.”

[endsinafight]

He follows Steve off the elevator with some amount of hesitance, casting a look up and down the corridor before proceeding any farther. It's silent on the floor, no sounds of footsteps or conversation or even breathing aside from Steve's and his own. He takes note of the cameras, eyes the giant A with mild curiosity, and looks confused at a paper shield on the door that Steve leads them to.

He flinches at the mention of a doctor, tensing beside him even though his expression doesn't change.

He says nothing for a moment. "I'm not a human," he tells him. He knows Steve already knows that -- or at least he thinks he does. Whether or not he understands it is the question.

[bottledblond]

“I guess... neither is he,” Steve says, although he immediately corrects himself. “Not the way he used to be. You’re both still human. Human enough. And it’s probably easier to find people that aren’t entirely human these days anyway.” Hes tired. He’s usually much more careful with what he says and he immediately regrets everything he’s just said. He wants to tell Bucky that, but it won’t do anything but make it all worse.

Steve rubs a hand across his face and glances into the bedroom. One king sized bed. Fresh sheets, as if someone is always making and remaking that bed. There’s a dresser too, empty. And a closet, equally as empty. The en suite may or may not have towels and soap or even toilet paper but it’s fine. It will do.

Steve lays the gloves on the top of the dresser, ignoring his tousled appearance.

“Do you want something to eat? Tony mostly drinks his meals but I can probably find a sandwich somewhere.”

[endsinafight]

He frowns, considering that. He doesn't know Banner, doesn't know what kind of not human he is, but he's a doctor. "Did HYDRA make him, too?" He doesn't follow Steve into the bedroom, simply pauses at the doorframe, lingering there and watching as Steve sets his gloves atop the dresser. He doesn't ignore Steve's tousled appearance. He has a strange urge to reach out and run his fingers through it, see if it's as soft as it looks.

"I don't eat," he responds easily, because it's truth. He can't remember ever eating a thing, even if he can acknowledge there's probably a lot he doesn't recall and may never be able to.

[bottledblond]

“I think he made himself,” Steve says, though he’s not exactly up to date on all things Bruce Banner. The guy doesn’t seem to fear him exactly but he looks shameful whenever they’re talking. Steve doesn’t know that Bruce had been experimenting with portions of the serum that made him who he was. And who Red Skull was. It probably would give Steve a very different sort of impression of the doctor. “You can ask him, but he doesn’t really seem like the talk about himself.”

None of them are. Oh, they’ll all talk, but about themselves in any depth? Never. Steve can relate. There’s only one person in the world that had ever truly known him, and that man doesn’t even remember him now.

Steve lets his head fall forward, one knee bending, weight shifting to the other foot as if his muscles needed a break, one side at a time. Steve’s always looked both older and younger than he is, and now is no different. His burdens have only increased.

That smile hasn’t changed though.

“Pretty sure you do eat,” Steve says, looking at Bucky again. “They messed with your memory...?” It’s a question but it doesn’t have to be. He knows already. His smile is gone again. “I don’t know who can help with that part, but if you remember me... good chance more will come back.”

[endsinafight]

When it comes down to it, his interest in Banner is only mild, passing curiosity. He doesn't need to know anything more than what Steve's told him. Banner hadn't been part of the mission, and he hadn't been debriefed on him by his handlers. It's not his business.

Bucky watches him stretch and flex like he's trying to work a kink out of his muscles, pressing his lips together. "Did you sustain damage?" He doesn't see any sign of blood or tears in his clothes, but he knows that's not always indicative of injuries.

"They use a tube to make sure I get the necessary vitamins and required calories to maintain functionality," he explains. It's unpleasant, but most of the things done to make sure he remains functional are unpleasant. He's a weapon, not a man. Weapons aren't treated like people.

[bottledblond]

“I’m fine,” the blond says immediately, though he doesn’t feel it. Physically, there’s nothing wrong with him. Emotionally... people just don’t understand the things he goes through and so he doesn’t bother dwelling on just how not all right he is.

Besides, there’s a more pressing conversation, another terribly revelation shown to him, and thought about himself disappears. Steve can’t control the horror on his face. It’s not possible when Bucky is not only speaking to him like a robot (no, worse than that because JARVIS has more inflection than his friend), but also telling him such terrible things. His heart has been pumped too full of adrenaline before now to break but it’s so close to shattering that he almost can’t breathe.

The labor to do so is audible.

“No more feeding tubes,” Steve almost chokes out. “Just... relax. Here. I’ll be right back.” He’s afraid to leave, but afraid to stay too. He feels on the verge of crying. Steve can’t cry in front of Bucky. Not like this.

[endsinafight]

Steve says he's fine, but the look on his face is one of shock, disgust. Bucky knows he said something wrong, but he's not sure what it was. He backtracks in his mind, going over the words he'd spoken but not able to figure out why they'd cause that horrified reaction from the other man. His eyebrows furrow once more, but he nods slightly at what sounds to him like a command, even if it doesn't exactly feel like one.

He's not going to question it either way. He leans against the door frame. "I'll be here," he says. He's a little nervous about where Steve might be going. He doesn't want him to leave him alone now that they're there, in the large apartment. It's different from his holding cells at HYDRA only because one of the rooms contain a bed and a dresser and at HYDRA, he either had to stand or lie on the floor, but he wasn't allowed to sleep. Not unless he was in the tube.

[bottledblond]

Steve’s gone a lot longer than he’d meant to be, though that’s not because he found a moment to reach catharsis thanks to Sam’s inability to leave him alone for too long. Steve might have gravitated to that once not too long ago, but the other man had made it abundantly clear that their relationship had boundaries that Steve had crossed too often enough already, despite Sam inviting him to.

He feels even more drained when he returns to Bucky, though there’s a smile on his face and his body is less tense. He can fake it when he needs to, and this just so happens to be one of those times that he really, really needs to. He’s carrying a large tray with all sorts of things on it, things he’s never tried before but had followed the packaging pretty easily enough. Tony’s kitchen is an oddity of packaged and prepared foods and lots and lots of powders and liquids.

Given Bucky’s lack of memory of solid food, he’s made a few protein drinks and shakes to go with sandwiches and soups and pastas. Sam had helped with all of it, perhaps a little reluctantly, but they are still friends, best friends after Bucky, and he’s never left Steve high or dry.

He’s a little confused when he finds Bucky exactly where he left him, just standing, and tilts his head, pushing the tray onto the end of the bed.

“Hey. Hey, what is it?”

[endsinafight]

He hears Steve coming before he actually sees him again. He hears the elevator first and he tenses because it could be anyone coming up. The plates in his arm shift and recalibrate like his body is preparing for a fight, but they grow quiet once more when he recognizes the faint scent of Steve's cologne and the sound of his heartbeat. It's slightly faster than most people's, unless said people are exercising or they're afraid.

His neutral expression shifts into something a little brighter when he actually sees Steve approaching him and he turns his head to watch him head into the bedroom and set the tray down. It's filled with glasses of thick liquids in different colors -- pink and white and brownish, and one that's green. There are plates of other things that smell good and a bowl of something hot and steaming and he shifts his gaze back to Steve at the question.

"I waited," he says uncertainly, not sure why Steve's looking at him like that.

[bottledblond]

“You don’t need to wait...” Steve has seen Bucky shapeshift, he’d watched a roguish looking bipedal wolf become his old friend, and while Steve isn’t ready to chalk it all up supernaturalism or monster horror, he’s not sure if Bucky is able to enter rooms without invitations. Sure, he’s getting the vampire and werewolf myths confused, but he’d never been one for pop culture and he had been in the ice during Universal’s mobster hayday. “Come on in, pal. This is your room now, until we figure out how to get you somewhere safer.”

Steve stands aside in case Bucky feels uncomfortable by him, hands held in front of him, crossed and at ease, eyes questioning and sharp in case he detects any stress.

“You probably could use some new clothes too,” he muses. “Bruce might have some things your size...” Banner is the only one actually occupying the Tower at the moment, and all of Tony’s clothing would just be too tight.

[endsinafight]

He doesn't need an invitation to enter a room or any other dwelling place, but he's learned not to make assumptions about what he is and isn't allowed to do. He remembers Steve, but he can't remember what the rules are with him, either. If he'd entered the room without explicit permission, he knows the kind of punishment he'd receive from his handlers at HYDRA.

Bucky's gaze darts to Steve's face, taking in his relaxed posture and the information that this is now his room, even if he's thrown because there's a bed in it. He doesn't remember ever having a bed before. He steps into the room cautiously and glances around, taking note of the large window and the closet opposite of it. The walls are a neutral color, but bright and not dull the way his containment cell is.

"It's nice," he says quietly, turning his gaze back to Steve again and lowering his eyes to the floor. "Thank you."